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I love blurbs or how MOTHERFUCKING SPACE GOAT will piss you off

I’ve done these before. Posted back cover book blurbs. You probably weren’t paying attention. But, I have. They are fun to write. I dig them. This little bad boy here is groovy! 

MOTHERFUCKING SPACE GOAT is the story of Fancy Dan, a finely dressed, grey alien, that got tired of the nine to five bullshit of cow abductions, and probing. Fancy, wanted a little more, and more is what he got when, he set out into the big beautiful universe ready to take it on, and make his name.

Instead, he got a rash, and kicked in the balls.

Pissed, and a little sore from being kicked in the nuggets. Fancy Dan did what any sore, highly advanced, billion year old alien, will do, you know, create a formula that will make a genetically superior being, also known as a, sidekick — Space Cow!

Once again, with a new attitude Fancy Dan, and Space Cow, his genetically superior, to a regular cow, jumped right in the bowl like they owned it.

Who, puked them back up like they were expired week old milk.

BLAAARGH

991 tries later. (Can’t win them all.) He decided cows make a terrible sidekick, and recreated the formula that created, that lame-o Space Cow, and born was the trillion times better idea — use the most thick headed (and easy to genetically fuck with) beast known — goats!

With try 991 behind him, Fancy Dan, suspiciously, with his newly engineered, to be genetically superior, than a regular goat, but still (trillion times) improved over the last guy, (Doesn’t count unless you say it in all caps.) SPACE GOAT! covered their dangling bits, dipped their well manicured toes into the toilet bowel, waiting for it to flush. Surprisingly it never came, and accepted them for another fresh turd.

With that, the writer had everything he needed to tell probably the fucking greatest story about a sharply dressed, grey alien, and his goat sidekick.

That story….

MOTHERFUCKING SPACE GOAT

Don’t be a cow, and buy the greatest (probably) comicbook you will ever return pissed you bought.

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